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Tag Archives: gaytwogether couples

Gay Relationships & Dating: “Watch Out! The Dude’s A Player!” – Part Two

( Continued From Yesterday ) Tips For The Gay Dater For Screening Out “The Player-Types”Unless you have hardcore proof and evidence that your new dating partner is playing around on the side, you must be careful about making assumptions or interpretations of his behavior. That being said, the following are some signals to keep your antennae wired for as potential red flags that you may be dating a “player” and can indicate to you the importance of going slow as you get to know him, observing his behavior to get the most accurate picture of his character as possible, and communicating and “checking things out” with your partner during the dating and get-to-know-you process:  * he takes your phone number, but won’t give...

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Gay Relationships: Strengthening Your Conversational Skills – Shyness Part Three

[ continued from yesterday ]Introducing ourselves and speaking to people that we don’t know is difficult for shy people - mainly because they’ve learned to fear rejection. They are overwhelmed by a sense of awkwardness and don’t know what to do. That anxiety can be so paralyzing that these men and women avoid trying anything new or speaking to people they don’t already know. Their fear of rejection makes their world smaller.  Rejection isn’t fatal, no matter how uncomfortable it might seem at the time. The problem is often what therapists call “catastrophic thinking” – a belief that it would be unbearably awful if rejection occurred. But is being turned down for a job or a date really lethal? Of course not. The consequences are far worse if ...

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Gay Relationships: Start Flirting Like a Superstar – Part Two

[ continued from yesterday ] Profile Of A Masterful Flirt: Remember that flirting is a skill that can be learned. The following are characteristics of an individual who is a master at flirting that can enhance one’s success in causing men you’re interested in meeting to be more responsive to your advances. A great flirt is someone who: · has a solid self-esteem and exudes confidence and appears self-assured and relaxed · has a good sense of humor, is down-to-earth, and is able to laugh · has good communication and social skills, including being a great listener and having the ability to be flexible and weave in and out of a variety of social situations with relative ease · is good at reading ...

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Gay Relationships: Stop, Look, & Listen – The 3-Step Approach to Understanding Your Partner – Part Two

[ continued from yesterday ]No matter how much you get the urge to break-in should your partner say something that you don’t like, hold it back! It’s not about you right now, it’s about you demonstrating to your man that you care and are invested in understanding life through his frame-of-reference, no matter how different it may be from yours. Listening is not about agreeing with your boyfriend and doing what he says, it’s about being fully present and gaining clarity into each other’s experience of your relationship. Be aware of any internal or external factors that could distract you and redirect yourself back to your listening responsibility. Nonverbal communication is integral as well. Make sure you have an open body posture, maintain good ...

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Gay Relationships: Fear of Commitment

Ever read advice columns? I don’t think they could exist without letters from women dating guys who can’t commit. It’s almost a cliché: “Joe and I have been dating for 7 years now, and he still hasn’t asked me to marry him. What’s wrong?”  Gay men might phrase it a little differently, “We’ve been going together for 4 years, but we still aren’t living together.” Or “We started off great! But I still haven’t met his family or co-workers. I don’t feel important to him.” Gay men are probably no different from other men in their level of comfort around intimacy. It’s quick and easy for some of us, while for others it seems to happen at the pace of a glacier moving south. Why ...

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Gay Relationships: Are You Lost In Love?

Western religious marriage rites celebrate the idea of “the two becoming one flesh.”  The other pull is towards safety and independence, and it can be just as powerful as this urge to merge. We fear being engulfed by the other, becoming lost in love. Both of these urges are normal and understandable. If you had no desire to mesh with your partner, you might as well be roommates. But healthy relationships allow each partner to maintain his identity, distinct from the shared identity as a couple. There is a dynamic balance that allows both connection and detachment. We’ve all grown up with the myths about relationships that are pervasive in our culture and in the media. Models of healthy relationships are rare. One model most of...

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Gay Relationships: Dating For The 40+ Gay Man: Seven Steps To Success – Part 1

Dating can be hard enough at times, but the situation can be made that much more challenging for those single gay men who represent the age 40 and up crowd.   In a society where youth and beauty are highly valued, many middle-aged men report feeling segregated and unappreciated in dating pools, making it difficult to meet and sustain relationships with potential dating prospects. The problem can seem even more compounded in the gay community in which the emphasis on youth and brawn is amplified, causing many mature gay men to feel undesirable and like outsiders within gay circles. They feel unwanted and that their age hinders them and limits the pool of men available to them for dating, particularly when they report being rejected by men in ...

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Gay Relationships: Stop, Look, & Listen – The 3-Step Approach to Understanding Your Partner – Part One

Do you feel misunderstood by your partner? Seem to keep getting into repetitive arguments over the same things? Have hidden resentments toward him and a mountain of unmet needs? If you’re like a lot of other gay couples, chances are your listening skills might need a jump-start; and if it’s not that, then fine-tuning your ability to listen can go a long way toward bridging the gap between you and your lover and bringing about more clarity and connection in your relationship. Conflict is inevitable when you’re a couple, but how you go about negotiating it can mean the difference between cuddling on the couch together or sleeping on opposite sides of the bed when you retire for the evening. Being able to productively listen...

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Gay Relationships: Building Your Risk-Taker Muscles – Part Two

( continued from yesterday ) We don’t have to be victimized by the system! In actuality, gay men and lesbians can take pride in the fact that we are quite resilient in the face of having to deal with so much stress to achieve the self-acceptance that can be more easily afforded heterosexuals just because their sexual orientation matches the expected mainstream norm. We rock! And that requires self-esteem. 8 Quick Tips for Greater Risk-Taking Efforts If you find that you struggle with shyness, insecurity, anxiety, or inhibition about going after the things you want in your life, the following suggestions might help you in building more confidence and motivating you toward taking more initiative and being more proactive over making your desires come to ...

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Gay Relationships: "I’m Not Good Enough For My Partner"

( Gay Relationships: Advice Column By Dr. Brian Rzepczynski ) Dear Dr. Brian:  I have a problem with my partner. We’ve been together for 8 months now, but the last 5 have been constant fighting over my behavior and character. He wants me to change and be more strong like he is, to stop being romantic and so emotional to the point I cry, to separate my personal and work lives, to not be influenced by others, and to be more talkative and have standards in my life. I have tried, but nothing seems to be enough for him. He’s talked about breaking up with me.I don’t know what to do anymore to please him and I don’t want to lose him. What should I do?"  - Backed ...

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Gay Relationships: 5 Deadly Mistakes Gay Couples Can Make – Part One

 Whether you’re just starting out in a new relationship or have been long-term partners for many years, how does a gay couple maintain their relationship over the long haul and sustain that “magical spark” that drew them together in the first place?  Relationships do require attention and focus, and this article will present five deadly mistakes that you can make that can wreak havoc in your partnership, almost ensuring conflict and unhappiness. Remedies will also be offered, and keeping these points in mind can help stave off relationship discord—and even prevent a potential breakup from ever being considered! Deadly Mistake #5: Getting into predictable, monotonous routines: Once you get into the groove of your relationship, you can begin to feel comfortable with the safety and familiarity...

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Gay Relationships: Rejection Sucks! A Gay Guy’s Primer On Dealing With It – Part 1

“Well, it was really nice meeting you, bud, but I don’t really think we’re a match. Good luck to you though!” –or- “Yeah, it was fun! I’ll call you!” –and then the call never comes. Sound familiar? We’ve all been there at one time or another. You know, that stabbing feeling of being unwanted that’s so hard to shake when it strikes. Yep—rejection!  Rejection of all forms is a natural part of being human, from being declined for a job or being refused participation in a certain club. But as a single guy on a quest for a life partner, rejection is an inescapable given in the dating world as you search for a compatible counterpart. There is no way around it! Now in this ...

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What Makes A Healthy Gay Relationship?

"Healthy relationships require patience, creativity, skill and commitment. It can be hard work, but few accomplishments in life are more satisfying." Healthy intimacy is a dance that honors and enjoys our partner while not losing our sense of individuality. Time and activity with our partner must be balanced by activities we do by ourselves or with people other than our partner. There is a saying that healthy families are alike, but unhappy ones are each unhappy in their own unique way. I’m not certain that this is strictly accurate. Still, there are certain attributes of relationships that tend to mark them as healthy or unhealthy..... There are gender patterns that seem to emerge in relationships: men tend to be good at maintaining individuality (perhaps at the ...

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Gay Relationships: Shy Guys Make Good Boyfriends Too – Part 1

You look up from your book at the coffee shop and become paralyzed with nervous anticipation as you see the hot guy you’ve been smitten with from afar sit down at the table across the room.He’s alone today and what a great opportunity it would be to finally approach him and introduce yourself. But the anxiety is mounting as you visualize yourself doing this and you bury yourself back in your book. You feel your face burning as you berate yourself for not having the guts to make yourself known. “He’d never be interested in me!” “I’d just die if he rejected me!” “And what if he did show some interest? What would I say? He’d think I’m a complete idiot and loser the ...

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Gay Relationships: Intimacy, Vulnerability and Commitment

Intimate relationships come in many flavors: dinner-and-a-movie dates that develop slowly into something else, dating one guy exclusively and becoming boyfriends, establishing something more permanent, perhaps as lovers or husbands or partners.Some relationships evolve hastily; others take time. Some men are comfortable “playing the field,” while others move so quickly to stake a claim on a boyfriend's affections that it feels like a return to California Gold Rush days."An unarmed encounter between two vulnerable individuals is my favorite definition of intimacy. Most of us understand the "unarmed'part of that equation without too much difficulty. But "vulnerable?" That's tougher. Especially for men; toughness is associated with masculinity – vulnerability is something we're taught to avoid. Vulnerability is a paradox. A friend...

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Gay Relationships: Getting Down & Dirty With Your Dating Values – Part One

Are you single and frustrated with your dating efforts? Tired of spending all your hard-earned cash at the local coffee shop for what seems like the millionth blind date? Or maybe things have been going smashingly with your new guy until he pulls the rug out from under you just as you’ve started to open your heart to him. The scenarios are endless in the gay metropolis of dating, but the one thing that’s for certain is that there’s no magic formula on how to snag your Mr. Right. There are lots of things you can do to promote your chances of success, however. And this article will elaborate on one such secret that might help clear the confusion and point you in the right direction ...

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Gay Relationships: Getting Down & Dirty With Your Dating Values – Part Two

[ continued from yesterday ] If you have a hard time figuring out what your values are, just look at how you spend your time. This screams volumes in terms of what’s important to you. Or look at your emotional reactions to things as an additional gauge and look below the surface to see what value has potentially been triggered. Your Values & The Pursuit of A Partner So what’s this all got to do with dating? Everything! The most successful couples in relationships have shared values. Nothing provides the sustenance and glue to a partnership than values; everything else pales in comparison. You and that guy sitting across from you at the coffee shop may be totally attracted to each other (but he’s SO hot!)...

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Marriage for All Families: Stories from Maine – Video

The first of a four-part series made in each of the states that have marriage equality votes this November, this short shares the experiences of same-sex couples who want to get married in Maine. They have the same challenges, responsibilities, and aspirations as any other couple--but they are strangers in the eyes of...

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